So I got this mildly humerous E-mail of things to do before the Inauguration and I decided to give it my own treatment as well as add one real thing to the E-mail. I think I might just remove my comments and keep the attachment….It could be like an E-mail jam.
1. Get that abortion you’ve always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your Social Security check.
(Empty your bank account first)
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
(please skip the flu shot)
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
(prepare to burn your draft cards)
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
(That means get a passport)
7. Get that gas mask you’ve been putting off buying.
(I keep it with me at all times)
8. Hoard gasoline.
(Invest in renewable energies)
10. Borrow books from library before they’re banned – Constitutional law
books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
(Go to library more often)
11. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix – do it now.
(I am actually making one- I’ll post it later)
12. Come out – then go back in – HURRY!
(Make sure to remove duct tape)
13. Jam in all the Alzheimer’s stem cell research you can.
(Avoid cow products too)
14. Stay out late before the curfews start.
(Learn how to wear black and sneak)
16. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his “accident”.
(Go see U2 diffuse an atomic bomb)
17. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
(Seen it, they need to finish the rest of their bodies before they’ll ever add Reagan)
18. Use the phrase – “you can’t do that – this is America”.
(Please refrain from saying this)
19. If you’re white – marry a black person, if you’re black – marry a white
(Or marry an African, Middle Eastern, or Asian person. The world is a big place and diversity adds stability)
21. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a
(Go to a less visited National Park first)
22. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
(Or help pass a school bond that will finance this)
23. Start your school day without a prayer.
(I start my day with a prayer, why pray at school?)
24. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
26. Learn French.
(Read the second sentence in #19)
28. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
(Just go to a gay bar with a beard and dress poorly)
29. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
(Work at one. Volunteer you time to learn about people who make minimum wage)
30. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
(Try to learn 10 types of trees first)
31. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
(I saw the map of what the tip of Sothern Florida and the Keys will look like by the end of then next century…)
32. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
33. Visit Alaska before “The Big Spill”.
(Google the word Exxon & Alaska)
34. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a state.
(Or get ready to lobby congressmen for DC Statehood)
35…..donate to worth causes….
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Chris Strohm: 202-413-2212; firstname.lastname@example.org
WASHINGTON, DC â€“ Thousands of independent reporters, photographers, videographers and bloggers will converge on Washington DC in January to cover the second inauguration of George Bush. While the mainstream, corporate-owned media will focus on the official grandstanding, only independent media will convey the thousands of voices of dissent and publicize what people believe are alternatives to the Bush agenda of war, economic injustice and civil rights.
We are writing to ask you to support independent media during the inauguration. We are a not-for-profit coalition of independent media makers working on an entirely volunteer basis. From Jan. 10 to Jan. 24, we will provide workspaces and equipment for independent journalists and ordinary people to cover the inauguration and offer their unique perspectives. We plan to provide a continuous stream of media covering dissent and alternatives to the Bush administration, and help distribute that media to as wide a mainstream audience as possible, including audiences outside U.S. borders. In order to accomplish this we will be relying on donations from organizations such as yours. All donations are tax deductible, and whatever we receive will go directly towards supporting the creation and distribution of independent media.
Please consider helping us in one of the following three ways:
Financial Contributions. Please consider making a financial contribution of any amount. All contributions are tax-deductible through the DC Independent Media Center. Complete information on how to make an online or snail mail donation is listed at: https://dc.indymedia.org/info/display/support/index.php.
Equipment Donations. We are currently seeking equipment donations. Items needed include working computers (preferably P3, G3 or better); flat screen monitors; digital video cameras; 35mm or digital cameras; digital audio recorders; flatbed or negative scanners; hubs and routers; networking gear; telephones, table and chairs. Equipment donations can be tax-deductible as well.
Workspace Donation. We are currently seeking office space from which independent media producers can do their work. If you have a space in DC that might be available, please contact us.
This yearâ€™s election was won by a razor thin margin. Indeed, almost half of those who voted did not vote for the current administration. The same was true of the last election. Despite this, the mainstream media provided almost no coverage of the protests and general dissent surrounding the 2000 inauguration. We do not want this situation to occur again, and we are determined to use our voices and the voices of others around the world to ensure that independent messages are heard.
The success of delivering these messages depends upon how much unity we can create in the world of independent media. One person acting alone is one voice. Acting together, we are many voices, and can pool our resources to rise above the din of the mainstream media. With your assistance, we can ensure that the voice of independent media is heard loud and clear.
Thank you for your support.
DC Inauguration Media Group