The Daily Render


A Digital Scrapbook for the Past, Present, and Future


Total Home Solutions
|| 7/24/2003 || 7:52 pm || Comments Off on Total Home Solutions || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Designed the official website for Total Home Solutions!

Back to Saint Louis
|| 7/4/2003 || 8:02 pm || Comments Off on Back to Saint Louis || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Left the YMCA of the Rockies to head back home to Saint Louis.

The Journey
|| 6/10/2003 || 8:04 pm || Comments Off on The Journey || ||

The Journey

Nikolas Schiller

Written 6/10/03

The ride of my life,
Equipped with airbags for strife,
The continuous movement of my mind,
Aggregated into a system that binds.

The journey to a new place,
The bright sight of a new face,
Choosing success over humiliating disgrace.

Dynamic digital dilemmas with auspicious analog answers,
Are moving past me faster than I can see,
Behind me is a magnificent memory monorail,
A silent, succinct ,sophisticated reminder that does not fail.
A straight line of thought, out of iron it was wrought.

Before me lies an 8 lane highway,
Full of cars that keep my mind at bay.
A smog of thoughts, a haze of choice,
A catalytic converter searching for a voice,

So I attempt to choose the best path I can see,
A mental HOV lane seems the best for me.

The ride of my life,
4 wheel drive over strife,

The movement of diverse minds,
Rebellion of that which binds.

The journey to a new place,
The magic of a new face,
Living my life at my own pace.

Watch me as I move past unleaded lives,
With brute diesel force I keep on driving and thriving,
Watch me fulfill my Honda Hybrid hopes,

Obtain high octane memories while living free.
Turn on cruise control,
Swerve past mental speed bumps or the occasional pothole,
And finally check my emissions.

They are my impact on the environment,
The collective result of my present and past intent.
And I’m wishin’ that every emission is a positive addition to the tumultuous global condition.

The journey is its 22nd year, Yet I stand here in fear,
It must be engine trouble, Triple A is near.
20 more years until I’m 42, Yet I know not what to do.
I need a compass, I need a map,
And most of all, I want to avoid the mental trap.

Maybe I’ll be a nomad (I think that would be rad),
Maybe this mental stage is just a fad,

Or worse my journey will end rather sad,
But with effervescent charm, charisma, wit, and love,
I know that I have a copilot from above.

This life is merely a journey, and I need not worry.
Be content, pay rent, try not to get mentally bent,
On where I’m going, or how my life is flowing.

Maybe I should buy a smart car,

Maybe I should continue my journey from afar,
Or become a star,
Yet I know this-
I need to bring out the SUV within me.
A positive sport utility vehicle for change.

See, I stand here in the shadow of the front range,
Ready to turn off cruise control, ready to feel whole.

This is journey of my life,

Now standard with infinite airbags for strife,
Movement of my mind,
that is beginning to step out of a system that binds

The final destination is unimportant,
The journey is all that counts.

Alas, my blinker is on, a rest stop is ahead.
The journey must go on pause, its time for bed.

I must begin again with a clear and resolute head.

Finals Recap
|| 5/10/2003 || 1:46 pm || Comments Off on Finals Recap || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Damn, I fell behind on my journal. That means I’ve got to recall more of what happened since Tuesday morning. Geez, the recall should be easy, but I like the play by play, and when days go by its harder to recall exactly what happened each day. I prefer the play by play, so lets try starting where I left off. Tuesday, warm, sunny, and full of luck, so to speak. After writing I went and took my Physics final. It turned out to be rather easy. I mean stupendously easy! I knew it was going to be easy, and that is why I put a whole 2 hours of studying in for it. It turned out to be two short essays, and I wrote about Nuclear Bombs in response to the "what aspect of physics do you feel affects you the most?" I explained that we live in perpetual fear of annihilation thanks to physics. The second essay I wrote about the Big Bang and Gamow. Since the Prof. Is writing a biography on Gamow I knew I couldn’t go wrong. I did learn a lot in the class, but it was really easy nonetheless. After the joyous ending of physics 008, I got some food, came back to my room and called up Laurie to organize a study session for our Remote Sensing class. I had been remotely sensing her for awhile, and I was finally able to check out her place. Its so nice! I wish I had the funds to stay in efficiency like hers. It has an amazing view looking out west, and you can even see the Potomac river! I brought over my belated birthday gifts, a electric mix CD of nothing but chill grooves and an "around the world" mix of tunes from, as you guessed it, around the world. It turns out that she really loved the CDs :-) So I got over there and we started to study, and I looked over her little makeshift flash cards. After about 30 minutes of study & chit chat, she announced that she was going to take a nap. So I silently studied at the foot of her bed as she played sleeping beauty. After about 45 minutes she bounded out of bed with a grin and we studied for a few more minutes whereupon she announced that she was going to get some food, and in the process said that she wanted to go alone. Slightly confused, I let her go get sushi (Ohhh I wanted some!) without any fight. I made my way back to my room studied for a little longer and went to the park for some sunset yoga. Later in the evening I began working on my report for the GPS fieldwork exercise. I started chatting with a few new friends from the party the week prior. A girl named Margo invited me over to her place to have some fun with her and her friends in the hot tub. I probably would have had a lot of fun, but instead I chose to look up her address on MapQuest, and then use the Terrabrowser program to find a satellite image of her house. And in the spirit of Remote Sensing, I decided to find what Latitude & Longitude my house in Ballwin, MO was- Lat: 38.59677 / Long: -90.56633 and what the coordinates were for Camp Chief Ouray- Lat: 39.98385 / Long: -105.92734 I thought it was pretty cool to see what the places looked like probably when the photographs were taken (I think in the 1970s!) Around 4am, I went to sleep. I finished the report in the morning and spent the rest of the midday studying for the exam. Around 3pm, I left my dorm and went to the class room for some extra study help. And around 4pm, Laurie arrives wearing a cute blue top and a matching scarf in her hair, she also had some gummi bears for us to share. The final exam also turned out to be atrociously easy! I finish with an hour, and make my way back to my room to wait for a phone call from Laurie. Our plan was to go to the Brikskeller for some Laurie-Nik time celebration. It turned out to be a lot of fun. We chatted about everything, as usual, and enjoyed the wide selection of beer that the Brickskeller offers (Guinness Book of World Records holder!). We ate fries and a salad, just enjoyed each other’s company. In the process of our conversation we both mentioned in matter-of-fact terms that we were both interested in each other, and I explained my feelings on how last Saturday turned out with Rob & myself. It felt good being able to discuss things like that without remotely sensing any weirdness! The plan was to make it into a full evening of Laurie-Nik time, but after the Brickskeller she opted to walk home alone. Again, confused, and rather sad, I wished her happy walking, and made my way home. I was hoping to make her dinner and then take her out to Red for some dancing. Alas, my plans did not pan out. Her cryptic attitude confused me, but I could see that she had a lot that she had been thinking about, and I had no business prying into her personal time. So I went home made dinner and around 11:30pm, made my way to Red at the exact moment my Greek goddess friend Christina and her crew were arriving. I love perfect timing, more came later… Christina was with her new beau Gerard, who seemed like a nice guy, but not as attractive as I had expected, Alex, another Greek, whom I’ve known for sometime because he’s also a DJ- he had a crew called "Foggy Bottom Breakbeats" I always loved the name. There was also another GWU girl named Dal. We all arrived and the place was empty, but around 1:15pm when we left it was a little more packed. I had a good time dancing. I love the smooth DnB at Red! I hope the club night continues through the summer so I can come back to that when I get back in DC! So I leave at 1:15am after getting my groove on for a little bit. I arrive home at the perfect time- not a minute too late or early per se, because Laurie is leaving a heartfelt message on my machine. She had just woken up with an epiphany, and she had realized she wasn’t ready to become friends with me at the time (hence her cryptic attitude) and she really glad that did meet me and that she looks forward to being friends with me over time. It really made my night. The synchronicity of the phone call also made it more poignant, because I was able to pick up the phone as I walked into my room and chat with her about it all. It really solidified my feelings toward her as someone who I can see being friends with for a long time. With a smile on my face, I went to bed after the phone call. We made plans for Friday night and I was rather excited about the prospect of more Laurie-Nik together time. Thursday ended up being a wash for the most part. Rained in the morning. I didn’t really do much the whole day. Just one of those Nik days which fall under the radar. At dusk I did another short yoga practice, but was interrupted by some alpha male Frisbee. Later in evening I bought some beer and in the process of trying to find something to do, I invited a girl I met from the party last weekend over to my cave. It wasn’t supposed to be romantic in any way, just a get to know ya a little better evening. I made myself a quick dinner of sautéed green peppers and onions in a curry vindaloo sauce with rice. It was mighty tasty! When Joanne came over I offered her some and she, like it seems with most of my meal guests, ate a few bites, said it tasted great, but did not finish the plate. Grrrr. I ended up showing her a bunch of my videos, random video clips, and various photos. I learned about what she is doing on June 1st, that being her new job as a research analyst for Cambell-Hill Aviation Group. Sounded cool for the most part. I showed her the damning pictures of the explosives still on board all planes. Maybe she can fix the problem, before someone takes advantage of the weakness. Afterwards, I burned her a ride home CD, and she left. I had already polished off the rest of the beer and fell asleep rather quickly. Woke up rather ho-hum. It was raining. Went back to sleep. Woke up again, turned on the idiot box, and tried to figure out my plan of action for the day and weekend. As I was writing Laurie an E-mail she called. Its so funny how many times things like that have happened to us in the last two weeks. One time I’d be calling her right as she was thinking about me, or she’d call me right before I was to pick up the phone to call her, or even when I walked in at the perfect moment on Wednesday night. Well we setup a plan for the evening- drinks somewhere, and maybe dancing. I made some food, and after that went off to the Critical Mass bike ride. I was sad to see only about 7 people show up, but with the rain from the morning, I could see how many people were not interested. We ended up riding down to the ghetto aka the projects. We visited a boarded up youth rec center that been closed due to lack of funds. As our group of all white cyclists made our way K St SE around 3 & 4th st. we were yelled at by an old man saying "what are you doing here?" I was amazed at the community there. Everyone was sitting around talking, a drug deal was taking place, and it seemed everyone knew each other. Its funny thing about the low income housing, it seems there is more community there than in the suburbs, yet there is also the most violence and the most poverty. Only two blocks away north under highway 295 was a completely different story. A completely gentrified Capitol hill living area. I think that is one thing I’ve learned the most about doing the CM rides is gentrification- the process of restoring and upgrading deteriorated urban property by middle-class or affluent people, often resulting in displacement of lower-income people. I see it going on all around DC, and it makes me sad for the most part. I’d love to own some of the dilapidated buildings and upgrade them, but instead of selling them off to a highest bidder, allow the place to be used for the community good. If I only had the money… All in all, the ride was a lot of fun as usual. After the ride I called up Laurie to finalize the plans, it turned out that she was tired was going to take a nap. The Matrix was on TV so I opted to call her when it was over. Eventually, I made my way over to her place around 11pm. I brought with me more of the same type of gifts- 3 music CDs (the news Adbusters CD, High Contrast CD, and John Tabs CD) and 2 data CDs (One containing all the videos I made along with GNN videos, Adbusters Jam of the Day videos, Da Ali G Show clips, and the full size pictures of her birthday party). She had gotten her hair cut short earlier in the day, and I absolutely loved the new hair cut, she looked amazing! I put in a new CD and showed her some of the videos as we attempted to figure out where we were going to go. We ended up deciding on Adams Morgan. So began walking around 11:30pmish and after we passed through Dupont Circle we began to hold hands. She remarked on how our hands fit nicely together. It was cute and so true. We decided on stopping at Tryst, which was ironic because that was the place that Serena took my mom on their night out in DC, the same night my mom got her belly button pierced! Prior to arriving at Tryst, we ran into Gerard and Alex. Which was ironic because she would have met them on Wednesday, but the bigger irony was that she and Gerard had the same relatively rare phone. I could delve deeper into the chance encounter but I’ll say that it was meant to happen, although little came out of it but a better sense that we were supposed to be at Adams Morgan. After arriving at Tryst, we got a seat next to the window ordered our drinks (Chocolate Martini for myself, and a Creamsicle Martini for her) and a brownie. We sat at the table and chatted for over an hour. I showed her my stomach for some reason, and drooled, I got a kick out of it! After our drinks we migrated to the couch nearby and she draped her legs over mine and put her arm around me. It honestly felt like I’d known her for years. I hadn’t been so comfortable with a woman since Mariel. And with it all being so new again, yet so surprisingly comfortable, it felt great. Eventually, after non-stop chatting we decided to make our way back to the campus. As we made our way out of Tryst she laid down the law so to speak and said that she was not interested in making out or sex tonight, I got a kick out her frankness, and felt relieved that it wasn’t expected. Along the way, she gave me an impromptu back massage on the sidewalk as strangers passed by. I love how she has no regard for what other people think, I value this quality in anyone who loves to life in the moment, and that back massage completely validated the quality in her. I can see she and I doing some fun and festive events together sometime in the future. Near Dupont Circle she stopped and asked for a hug. It was one of the best hugs I’ve ever had. It must have looked like something out of the movies. There we were on the sidewalk in full embrace as people passed by, it was great. And it was such a different feeling at the same time. I’ve never passionately hugged anyone so tall before, and I was again amazed at how well we fit. I walked with my arm around her soft slender waist to DuPont Circle, where we stopped and sat on a bench and talked for another 20 minutes. Then we made out way down Connecticut Ave. and about a block away from 5 it was my turn to give the massage. She even gave me some advice! I never like giving massages because I never know what I’m doing right or wrong, but on my first try she gave me a better insight, and I’ll take that with me forever. We walked by 5 and then around to M st, where we opted to get some grub at McDonalds. It has been a random running joke with her about not ever getting to eat fast food enough. I’m guessing she didn’t have many chances to eat it when she was growing up, while I on the other hand at it about once a week. I still get a charge of her theatrics when she sees a McDonalds billboard. She ordered a small yogurt parfait, and I ordered fries and a chocolate sundae. For $3.26 that was cheapest I’d spent on something in a long time! We walked to another park nearby and continued our conversation, which had never really stopped the entire night (minus about 30 seconds after the first bear hug) Upon leaving the park we gave each other another massive hug, and this time returned my shoulder nibble! I can’t wait to hug her again! And then we made our way back to her building where we said goodbye. All I can say is- what a great date. Probably the best I’ve ever been on. It put my Valentines date to shame, although that one was fun, this one seemed so much more special. I think it’s because Laurie and I have a lot in common and we have so much to say to each other. I am sad that this is my fin de semester and I’m leaving her and all the potential between us. Yet her epiphany holds true, I think she and I have the potential to remain friends for a long time. I also think that she might be torn between the ambiguous relationship with Rob and the short fun that we had. I still want to spend a little more time with her before I leave, but I see her possibly wanting to distance herself from me at the same time. It might be easier to do that, but I feel that we can have fun in the meantime, and have all summer to correspond our feelings. I haven’t been this excited about someone in a long time, yet I’m sad that it going to be so short lasted. Today has been a continuous recall of last night, it was one of those evenings that I wish would have lasted forever. I hope that she come over tonight so I can start dismantling my room! I want her to see the month of time I took to decorate my little cave, just so she knows my decorating capabilities. Yes there is an air of hubris there, but I’d just like to show my space to someone I like. Well it looks I’ve written plenty, and my recall of the week was better than I expected. Now I need to study and start to pack. Hopefully I’ll have a houseguest tonight.

One week left in DC
|| 5/6/2003 || 10:30 am || Comments Off on One week left in DC || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Man I’ve got about a week left here in DC, and I don’t feel ready to leave. I feel like there is so much I need to get done. Ahhhhh! I need to finalize my storage plans, get my classes all squared away, and just feel ready to leave…And I don’t yet. The beauty of Colorado is looming over the horizon… Anyways, Saturday was a lot of fun! Laurie’s birthday bar crawl was a rocking time. Saturday afternoon around 5pm, I met up with her, Rob, Kelly, and her other birthday companion Saira. Both Saira & Laurie were dressed really nicely, and both looking like super models (for real!). Its nice hanging out with woman who are 5’10 :-) They both looked absolutely gorgeous! We started at Froggy Bottom Pub, then we walked to DuPont Circle to go to probably the best bar in the world, the Brickskeller (which carries over a thousand beers in stock!!!) where we all bought different drinks and played pass the cup so we could all try different types of beer (thank God no one was sick!) I drank some tasty stouts- I wish they were sold around here, aside from Guinness. I took a lot of fotos at the Brickskeller. From there we walked to Lauriel Plaza, that restaurant that I have ate with my family members a few times before. We get there and the place is packed, and there wait was around an hour. On top of the two stouts I had already drank, I had another two more mugs full of frozen margarita slush while waiting, and about this time I was feeling rather tipsy. I gorged myself on their homemade chips & salsa. We finally got seated and I ordered paella (yumm!) but I was so tipsy that I hardly remember eating it, and worse, I forgot to take the doggy bag with me :-( After dinner Rob lead us to a few different bars, which were rather packed, and eventually we found a bar that the girls could dance at. It was fun watching them dance to butt music. I just took pictures :-) Throughout the night Laurie was showing all the signs of interest in Rob, and I found no problem with that, it wasn’t my business, I feel as if she is the type of woman that plays the field without really playing people. If I were her, I do that as well, she can choose from any man she wants, so why not have fun with them all? It keeps the power balance in her favor. Yet I wasn’t expecting her to take my hand and put it on her soft leg during the cab ride home, I didn’t complain, maybe she was drunk too, but the small sign of physical affection was nice. I just thought it was funny because I felt that she was digging Rob the whole night. I’m not confused at all, just entertained, it was a good time. I slept soundly, but wishing I had a snuggle partner. Sunday, was a wash for the most part. One of those all too frequent days where I don’t really speak to anyone, not by my choosing per se, but simply because of my location and my situation. I spent much of the morning working on the photos from the night before, which turn out to be a lot of fun. There are some really choice shots of everyone. Taking pictures of Saira & Laurie makes me want to be a fashion photographer! I put them on my webpage and E-mailed the link the ladies. Around mid-day, I decided to go back to the park and do some yoga. It felt good, I just need to keep doing it and I desperately need to quit smoking. I think a fast is in order. I can’t wait! I’m thinking no food for three days would be a start. I need to start purifying myself. A little later on in the evening, I ordered some Papa Johns pizza, which I haven’t done all year. It was okay, tasted good and made a good Monday morning breakfast. I ended up staying up a lil too late on Monday night lollygagging my time on working on my preloader for my website- but I fixed it! And also slimmed down the page over 300K by taking off files that were not being used from the library, which I hadn’t realized were compiled. Yeah, 500K to 150K is so much better for the dialup kru. Monday turned out to be a lot like Sunday with the exception of the evening. Not much studying went on tho :- For some reason I can hardly get my ass to do it! Damn! I did however write the beginning of a press release for the Love Parade DC 04 and sent it to Adam, who responded later saying that he really really liked it. I’m excited. It looks like we might meet up later this week and discuss it. Monday evening I went to the new DC IMC space and attended my first meeting. I would have gone to one before, but I’ve always had class during the meetings. This meeting however was full of old news and dragged on forever. In a way I’m glad its the only meeting I’m going to attend until September, however I’d still like to be apart of the process of the IMC organization. I know when I return the place will be completely operational, which I find exciting. I look forward to volunteering my time there in the future. The space itself is really nice. I hope it allows the media collective to grow and prosper. After the meeting I rode my bike back home, wasted some time on the computer, and attempted to study for the final I have in a few hours. I’m not too worried about the exam tho. I think I’ll be able to BS pretty well, but its time to start studying for it. After the exam, its going to be nothing but remote sensing, which I hope to study with Laurie tonight. I made her a few CDs for her birthday and I want to give them to her. I spent a lot of time Sunday evening making sure that the mix sounded well and all the tracks flow well. I really hope she likes it because I doubt she realize the time I spent on them. I’m hoping she likes the ‘chill’ CD enough that she puts in when she’s got a man over <grin> To me its one of those CDs that’s nothing but chill sexy grooves. I hope she feels the same way. Anyways, its time to read about the general theory of relativity. I hope tonight is fun, studying hopefully not by myself. I want to study with her. Fingers crossed. We’ll see.

synchrondeity strikes again
|| 5/3/2003 || 4:39 pm || Comments Off on synchrondeity strikes again || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Friday turned out to be a great day from start to finish. Ideas exchanged, friends made, and better outlook obtained, what more could one ask for? I spent some time in the morning watching the various videos I had downloaded while copying the rest of the CDs I have obtained from the radio station. After that I had a great time chatting with Nancy over IM. She has some really good ideas and I very glad to have befriended her. After lunch, the last of my expensive spaghetti, I called Laurie and chatted a bit, and told her that I was going to go outside and do some yoga. I think I’m going to do that again when I done typing as well :-) I also said I’d show up at her work to say hello. So I changed into some more loosely fitting clothes, found my large fleece blanket, took off my shoes, and made my way to the park. It was sunny, warm, and the ground was firm. I opened the blanket in the center of the park (which is straddled by the eastbound & westbound lanes of E st) and began doing tree pose. It felt good. I kind of get a kick out of doing something so publicly. There I am half naked in the middle of a park with business as usual happening around me. I like it that way though. One of my yoga instructors said the best place to meditate was in a busy place because you have more distractions to quell. So about 45 minutes into my practice, two beefy baseball players notice that there are two attractive women sunning themselves behind me on the periphery of the park. So they decide its time to play catch, and of course I am in the way. So as I’m balancing, I hear the repetitive sound of the ball hitting the leather mitt. And I listen to their dialog, it made me realize why I have so few male friends like that. After doing a handstand, one asked me if I was doing yoga, and simply nodded my head. I should have asked if he wanted to try, but I think that might have been a little to forward. About a half an hour later the girls leave, and so do the beefy guys. At the end of every practice I feel slightly more flexible, and it feels good. I returned back to my room, answered my odd craving for bubbly sugar water (which after a few months of abstinence has returned), and then proceeded to make my way to Dupont Circle for the Critical Mass bike ride. With the weather so nice out, there were about 25 folks who showed up to ride. I was really happy to see Adam come out and show up. I like the way that he has an unofficial leadership role in the group. I can tell how he is respected among his peers. Our route led us to the Burmese Embassy where there was small protest going on, much like the Free Tibet protest of last week. From there we made our way around down to Rock Creek Park, and followed the highway down to the Watergate and our plan was to bike to DC General Hospital, which was closing that evening for good. Just past the Lincoln memorial we got attacked by three National Park Police on motorcycles, they pretty much rammed everyone off the road. They were like use the bike path, and we all said that we don’t have to. They were just pissed because we took over all the lanes of traffic. A compromise was made, and we proceeded to all ride in one lane of traffic until past the Capitol building. It was pretty funny as usual. I love Critical Mass just because I feel so ballsy, and I like the fact that I have some degree of safety in numbers. The arrival at DC General was rather uneventful, but the ride to there was a different story. I had never been on that park of NE DC before and contrary to popular lore it wasn’t that bad. I think its because the area around the Capitol has been gentrified by the representatives and senators that live around there. After DC General we trekked back to Dupont Circle where we all said goodbye. I was in the process of telling Maggie about the wheatpasting party on the corner, and right at that time two of the people I did it with come walking by. I cannot recall their names, but the older guy is from Kashmir, who is only person I know from that region. We chatted for a few seconds and mentioned the party to them. Ironically, a guy walking by heard me mention it, but it wasn’t at the party that he asked me if I was on the corner at that moment early in the evening. 3 degrees in flux at one location. Very interesting :-) Synchrondeity strikes again. I rode along back to Foggy Bottom, feeling so empowered from the CM ride, I was doing a big woohoohaw (WOOO!!) each time I rode by an outdoor restaurant. It was fun diverting the attention of people, living in the moment, being a spectacle for the hell of it and when I rode by the uber-expensive steakhouse Smith & Wollensky, I shouted "Meat is Murder" I think I’m going to do that from now on. Maybe vary it with a Mad Cow reference. When I got back to Foggy Bottom, I went in to the magazine shop that is in the same building as Laurie’s job. And after checking twice earlier in the week, my beloved Adbusters Magazine had arrived. So I gleefully paid for it, and made my way around the bend to Coney Island Ice Cream Shop where Laurie works, I noticed a big line outside, so as I walked by I grabbed her attention and kept walking. I made my way outside and skimmed the contents of the entire magazine, read a few articles, marveled at some of graphics, quotes, and statistics, and about 20 minutes later made my way back in to an empty shop. She was glad to see that I came back. We chatted a little, I showed her the pictures from the ride, which she liked a lot. And then I asked from some free ice cream, and what I got hit me like a brick in the head. Colinearity of life sometimes amazes me. And it took me a few seconds for it all to sink in, and I’m still trying to register it all now. Laurie made a Sunday using cotton candy ice cream with oreos and marshmallow sauce. As I sat down to eat it, I realized that I hadn’t had cotton candy since Christmas when I worked with Mariel’s family circus. I had used to make "floss" aka cotton candy with Mariel’s mom. And then it hit me that at the exact time I was eating this cotton candy ice cream in Washington, DC, Mariel was doing the EXACT same thing in Mt. Vernon, that Laurie was doing. Both were working in ice cream shops. The collinearity goes deeper, both my sisters worked at a ice cream shop. So did my mother. Why am I drawn to ice cream? Why was I served cotton candy ice cream? There is reasons for it all, and I think its simply because that is what was meant to be. The synchrondeity strikes again, but in such a beautiful way. After eating the ice cream & reading the adbusters (making sure to not get the pages sticky!) the place had gotten more busy, and I said I was going to bounce. Went back to my room read some more of the magazine, packed up my bag, and made my way to the party. I love riding my bike so much! I love cruising by people waiting at stop lights, and I’ve come to the conclusion that bike riding is better in traffic! I rode by the new convention center and witnessed the gentrification of the surround areas first hand and was quite amazed. Along the ride, I stuck up the Krafty stickers along my route :-) Meme Warfare baby. I made my way into the party was rather taken aback by the people at first. I was expecting more earthy types, but what I found was a lot of normal looking folks. It took awhile to find the cups, but when I did I also met one of house residents, Frank. It was good meeting someone ‘on the inside’ so early off. I met so many cool people at the party. I am not going to list them all, but I went through Friendster this morning and dropped them all a line or two. Some of the better conversations / people from the night were with: Liz, an absolutely gorgeous blonde haired woman who works Bread for the World, Boxie, a Serbian scientist who is working on Malaria drugs at Georgetown, Joanne, Zoe, and damn so many more I cannot recall. I think the highlight of the night was bonding with Adam. After being reintroduced to him at the first Critical Mass ride, I did some research on him, and was amazed at what he has been doing. In the process it made him into a present day hero of mine. When you have so much respect for someone its great when you can bond with that person over an idea. The idea, posed by me, was something that he fell in love with and decided to spend much of the rest of the party posing the idea to fellow party goers. The idea is to have a 9-11 love parade on the mall. Something non-political in nature, and something that says although what happened to America on that day was bad, we can turn the other cheek and say that Love of Mankind is more important. Imagine having millions of people show up on the Mall for one huge party all in the name of the love of mankind. Adam was fully behind the idea and one of the first people we told was Liz who happened to give a devil’s advocate approach. That was the beginning of conversation, which moved on to me working at the Pirgs and what she did for a living. Oddly and sadly, she became more reserved toward me later on into the night. I don’t think I said anything wrong per se, but I think she might have noticed my interest in her, and opted to remove herself. Oh well. I didn’t get her e-mail or phone number, but I think we’ll meet again. Plus I have an idea for her non-profit that might make them some more money. Later in the night I met Adam’s love, the beautiful Alexis, whom I had met late September in front of the White House at a decriminalize marijuana rally. She is the national field director of the Marijuana Policy Project, and I gleefully told her who I was a member and that I’ve FWDed all the info to different lists in Missouri. I think it really made her happy that people were doing stuff like that. Around the time they left I opted to leave. I explained to Adam that I thought 9-11 2004 would be an even better date to hold it to put pressure on Bush’s reelection since he is having the Republican National in NYC around that time. So there is a funny dialectic of the republicans being NYC site #1 of 9-11 and the freedom loving being in DC, site#2, at the same time. I checked my calendar this morning, and found that 9-11-04 is on a Saturday, this could be FUCKING HUGE. And its been my dream to have a love paradesque event on the mall. Adam was the one behind the Sorry State of the Union, where I heard DnB on the Mall for the first time. We’ll see about Love Parade DC. I’m excited about the prospect of it. On a different note, the DJs at the party were simply okay, lots of house, some really really really bad progressive trance, and some hip-hop. I wish I would have brought my records. It was good seeing so many different type of people at the party, and it felt great walking in there knowing roughly two people, and walking out knowing most of the people at the party. I’ve become a lot better with the name game, and I think that is really helpful. It made me realize what kind of presence I have, and whith out gloating, it feels really cool. Going to a party like this actually makes me sad to leave DC because I am going to miss out on getting to know these people better, but it also reemphasizes the fact that I think I’ll want to live in DC for a little while. I’ve come to really love this town. A lot. Rode home slightly drunk, which was fun, and played Codec & Flexor’s "Time has Changed" and fell asleep before the song was over. Woke up rather refreshed, and I’ve lollygagged most of the day away, thinking about the night before, and in about 20 minutes I am going to meet up with Laurie for her little birthday bar crawl and then on to the Spanish restaurant which holds irony too. It was the last place in DC where my mom, sister, and I all ate together the move in week of my freshman year, as well at it being the place where Serena & I ate the last night she was in DC a few months back. I wonder what is in store for tonight, I hope I find something fun to do. I’d love to hang out with some of the folks from last night. We’ll see :-)

Time has changed us…
|| 4/29/2003 || 10:37 am || Comments Off on Time has changed us… || ||

::Repost from old blog::

as changed us. Time changes everything. But what really is time? I’d like to think its just the quantized synchronous rhythm of our collective heart beats. Well the time has come for me to write. I haven’t since Friday. Well what has taken place? I passed out on my bed Friday night at around 11:30pm and woke up around 3am. I opted to attempt to stay up and work on things. Actually I didn’t opt for anything, I just stayed up because I wasn’t tired. I ended up making a small Flash intro page for the Critical Mass website. At around 9am I decided that I’d go help the IMC move into their new space. I went to the wrong address, Grrr, and since it was in a part of town that I’d only be to a few times prior, I decided to go for a ride. Boy was it one! I thought I had made my way to Maryland, and after consulting mapquest, I found that I had only made it to dead central DC. It made me realize how little of the city I actually knew about! I need to go farther from downtown more often. Thank you bike! (I need to name her, maybe Nancy, since that is the name of the woman who gave it to me) I rode from 1205 S st west to 14th St where I rode north to west on Randolph St. then south on 16th where I went west again around the Columbia Heights metro stop to Park Rd then to Kingle Road down a huge hill into Rock Creek Park. It was absolutely beautiful. After having rained most of the morning, everything was delightfully green and moist. Saturday, I fell in love with Rock Creek Park. Can’t wait to go back there and ride again! I took a lot of pictures of the budding trees and of the massive bridges that span over the creek. I’d love to canoe it sometime, but I don’t think they allow it. After riding around in awe of nature, I made it back to my room to around 11am. I met up with Jason H. & Holly H. at around noon to film and work on their video for their electronic & computer music class. I took the class my sophomore year and had a great time. My final composition was rather powerful, mindfuck is the word that people told me. Anyways, we filmed some clips in his basement. Looking for the eerie effect, we filmed a bunch of random stuff. Then we drove to SW DC in Jason’s car to film some footage of the train tracks. The spot he took us was awesome. Its the underbelly of DC that is only a few blocks away from all the tourist attractions. It was this massive underground train tunnel that was covered in graffiti. It was filled with empty spay paint cans and relics of a time when the area was still prime canvas. I took a lot of pictures and footage, it was a great site! If I was homeless, I’d probably live there! Less than a block away from the Department of Agriculture and Department of Engraving is home to something you won’t ever find on the tourist maps all right…. After that we made our way back to my room and began making the video. It took forever, I wish I would have been given artistic freedom to make the video instead of having to follow their ideas, which were good, but 3 minds take longer to make decisions. After making most of the video, my Mac froze when I tried to do check something while Final Cut Pro was rendering. Most of the work was lost….GRRRR…. Always save everything, backup often. So we decided to finish later. It was about 10pm and I made my way to Nancy S’s wheatpasting party. It turns out that it was actually her birthday party, and if I would have known I would have brought her something. In the end, I think she’ll like the photos I took of the evening. It was nice to meet a bunch of folks of all ages, drink good beeer, and eat a LOT of cake. The people there were ones I’m glad I met, all with different insights and ideas. At around 1am, most of us moved the party to the front of her apartment building and covertly put up various posters on public spaces. I put up a great photo of Mayor Anthony Williams looking like a dolt that says "Tony the Rat" The other one I put up was drawing of soldiers putting up a flag draped oil derrick in Iow Jima fashion, and below it says "Bush’s War For Oil" I absolutely love that graphic. I really like the idea of wheatpasting. Its the best non-destructive way to get an idea, event, cause, design, etc on the street. After the party, I road home and put up a few posters around campus and the World Bank. A few are still up. I’m going to put some more up soon (like tonight!). Yesterday, Nancy & I created a list for people around DC to organize wheatpasting parties – its called the "Poster Posse" I wonder how well it will work :-) Sunday, slept most of the day away when I should have been working on my geography assignment….grrr…. I got up at noon to register for my housing for next year. I got shat on like a toilet. I’m living four doors down from where I lived Freshman year in the same building that I’m at now. At least this year I have the second best dorm in the building, its not right, how can I get such a shitty room? Even if I had a roommate I would have gotten a shitty room because there was only one dorm that had high-speed internet. What a joke. I’m going to be writing the school newspaper and the CLLC (folks in charge of housing) to vent my disbelief. I was so pissed, I went back to sleep. I woke up late and spent most of the night trying to get a damned "preloader" to work on my webpage. I also added a bunch of new sounds to the page and removed the Kraftwerk tune, it was getting on my nerves big time! The preloader was put in so that people knew that the Flash animation was loading and that my site wasn’t bogus. I went to bed Monday morning and ended up sleeping the day away, just like Sunday… I get myself on these fucked up sleeping cycles, and they are so hard to break them. I either need an upper or a downer to correct them, and I’m living "drug free" so nothing is working- Alcohol makes me sleep until it wears off (leaving me more sleepy), caffeine makes my mind race, sleeping pills make me sleep the next day away, and I don’t partake any other drugs to test… It seems my mind is restless all the time, and there is nothing to quiet it, my solitude is nothing but my mind talking to itself at speeds and wavelengths I cannot decipher. Grrrr. Soon enough I’ll have a bunch of campers to keep my mind busy, and a regimented schedule to adhere by. I can’t wait. This evening was consumed by finishing the Jason & Holly’s video up. I got paid a couple packs of smokes (hopefully the last) and a couple of blank DVD-Rs. I told Jason to go out and get a DVD to put final copy of the video on, and when he left I told Holly I hope that he got the 4 pack. As the synchrondeity turns out, there were only four packs available. So I’m going to burn them each a copy of the final product, which ended up being pretty good. Only a few flaws in the video that I should have fixed, but I was sick of working on that "pro-bono" video. I did make the DVD really nice looking with the audio, a slideshow with audio, and the movie on a nice background graphic. First time using iDVD2, and I could definitely see its major limitations, I wonder if iDVD3 or DVD Studio Pro are any better? On the menu of the DVD, there is a clip of the piece that will get the biggest charge out of the audience. Off an indymedia website from Portugal, its a live satellite stream recording of Bush practicing his speech with a hairstylist over him combing and patting his head. I love the clip! Its too perfect, what a way to make our president look like a pet of the corporations than with a woman petting his hair as he gestures to make a fake point. The video is from the night that he declared war on Iraq (I believe) In the video I fisheyed his head so he has a HUGE forehead, and on a different clip I did a "head shrink" and made him look like an alien. I’m glad that Holly & Jason are letting me use that clip. After all the piece is titled "Friseur" which means hairdresser in German. On Saturday, Holly pointed out that the governor of Maryland, Bob Ehrlich’s last name "Ehrlich" means honestly in German, how ironic for a politician. I need to learn more languages, my Spanish is all but gone, I feel like an American. GRR. Today I’m going to teach a yoga class for a girl in my Yoga Teacher Prep class, it should be fun. I should probably find some good poses for it, rather than recycle those damned four I learned my class. Right after that I’m busting ass to see my video at the Electronic and Computer Music Performance. I miss Steve Hilmy, my professor of that class, I trashed a great reference! I don’t know why I stopped working with him doing "pro" sound recording, the second semester my sophomore year. It still baffles me as to why I didn’t go. Was I depressed? Did I not want money? Was I sick of working on a computer that wasn’t my own? At least I can attribute Hilmy to the purchase of my iMac. But still I don’t know why I left, all that do know is that I haven’t spoken to Hilmy in a long time, and I think he thinks I ditched him for something else, when I ditched him for absolutely nothing. Grr- It seems like I’m just writing out my frustrations here, hence all of those GRrrs. I need to replace them more with YEAHs! or else…. I’ve only got like two weeks here left. YEAH! Finals! Grrr Mountains- YEAH! New friends YEAH! lets see how the next few days turn out…

Television, the Drug of the Nation
|| 4/25/2003 || 8:19 pm || Comments Off on Television, the Drug of the Nation || ||

::Repost from old blog::

‘Lyrically remixed’ “Television, the Drug of the Nation” by the Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy


Artist: Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy
Song: Television, the Drug of the Nation

Lyrical Remix by Nikolas R. Schiller

one nation under God has turned into one nation under the influence of one

Television, the drug of the Nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation

T.V., it satellite links our United States of Unconsciousness
Apathetic therapeutic and extremely obnoxious
The methadone metronome pumping out 1000s of channels 24 hours a day
you can flip through all of them, and still there’s nothing worth the stay

T.V. is the reason why less than 10 per cent of our
Nation reads books every day
So people like Longfellow, Wordsworth,Thoreau sound gay
T.V. is why most people think Central America means Missouri,
Iran means you were in a hurry, South Africa is a location,
and Chile is a weather translation,

Socialism means un-American anti-isolation,
and Apartheid is a new headache remedy
and the best news program is a hybrid info-comedy
absorbed in it’s world it’s so hard to find us
glued to mind molding, thought controlling, medium that binds us
maybe the mother of our Nation should remind us

that we’re sitting too close to…

Television, the drug of the Nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation

T.V. is the stomping ground for political candidates,
but when have you seen a debate get irate?
T.V. is mechanized politic’s remote control over the masses,

co-sponsored by environmentally safe gases
It’s the perpetuation of the two party system,
where image takes precedence over wisdom
Where sound bite politics are served to the fastfood culture,
Where straight teeth in your mouth are more important
than the words that come out of it

Where Guantanamo Detainees are shown on TV,
A total violation the Geneva Conventions to me.
Thank you Helen Thomas for thinking free.
Where Press conferences are scripted and
we have a president that is called mentally gifted
Race baiting is the way to get selected,

Willie Clinton or Will he not get elected on…

Television, the drug of the Nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation

T.V., is it the reflector or the director?
Can you live outside of this dominant vector?
Does it imitate us, or do we imitate it

Or are we leaving a planet that is worth a shit?
because a child watches 1500 murders before he’s twelve years old
and we wonder why we’ve created a Jason generation that
learns to laugh rather than to abhor the horror
T.V. is the place where armchair generals and
quarterbacks can experience first hand the excitement of warfare

Where embeds are in bed with the pentagon,
And speaking out against the war is patriotically wrong.
Where liberation is sold like gold we are told,
but country after country it has gotten old
With Sugar sweet sitcoms that leave us with a bad actor taste
whilepop stars metamorphosize into soda pop stars

You saw the video, You heard the soundtrack, Well now go buy the soft drink,
Its time to wake up and think!
Only on….

Television, the drug of the Nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation

Back again, "New and improved" Genetically modified,

with an informational diatribe
Back again, to our irregularly programmed schedule
hidden cleverly between heavy breasted beer and car commercials
CNN ESPN ABC TNT it mostly B.S. to me,
Where Reality TV just means more money for NBC
Where oxymoronic language like "virtually spotless",

"fresh frozen","light yet filling" and "military intelligence"
have become standard negligence
T.V. is the place where phrases are redefined and double spoken to our mind
like "recession" to "necessary downturn",

"Civilian death" to "collateral damages"
and being killed by your own Army is now called "friendly fire",
I am one recruit they cannot hire
T.V. is the place where the pursuit of happiness

has become the pursuit of trivia
Let me double think this weakest link
Its where imagination is sucked out of children by a cathode ray nipple
T.V. is the only wet nurse that would create such a cripple
This message was sponsored by

Television, the drug of the Nation. Breeding ignorance and feeding radiation


I ended up seeing Michael Franti while in Maui, Hawaii. While in line for tickets, I didn’t even know he was the same man who had wrote this originally.

Done with Yoga
|| || 5:33 pm || Comments Off on Done with Yoga || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Done with Yoga Teacher Preparation. What a marathon! Starting at 10pm, I began working my final project & extra credit at Kat’s place. Good lordy, it took FOREVER. I worked on that paper until 4am. Then slept a whopping two hours because some random alarm clock in her living room went off. Worked from 6am to 2:00pm. Altogether 26 pages of pure, unadulterated, BS. I think she’ll like it tho. I taught my yoga class to my classmates who were equally unenthused about the class. But at least its over. Now I’m going to do the Critical Mass bike ride in a few. I’m beat and it looks like its starting to drizzle. I’ll probably pass out when I get back. I’m going to call Laurie, she was interested in coming out and riding. She and I had a great conversation before I went over to Kats. Maybe she’d have a good time riding through DC with a bunch of Critical Mass folk- we’ll see. In my short sleep I dreamt of CCO. A campers mom came into the cabin and was like going on how how she didn’t want her son to be in our cabin. Flash to Truman the head of the camp asking me why the mom was so irate. Flash to some really weird sexual dream. Good thing that alarm clock woke me up… LOL I wonder what tonight has in store for me. I’m thinking some liquor might be nice. Maybe some good companionship. Maybe both. We’ll see. But first I need to make a call, and get my arse ready for some bike riding. Bike On!

Vivid Dreams
|| 4/24/2003 || 6:32 pm || Comments Off on Vivid Dreams || ||

::Repost from old blog::

Just woke up from a 4 hour nap. Whooa. Dreams. A bunch of them of them- all different but all very vivid. I’m still working on how the first two were. One I watched a atomic bomb slowly descend from the sky, while all my family members ran to the backside of the house. I made it behind a tree as the blast went off and I could feel the heat around me. Flash to being the basement. Using a laser to kill snakes as they enter from outside- a sea of black hissing serpents. Laser does the trick. Followed in by people who had been characters in my previous stretch of dreams, looked up and a the Dalmatian running up stairs to help a Jack Russell terrier that is limping. Flash to being in bed with a woman, do not know who.. Flash to changing my arms like a plastic toy, and being surrounded by plastic people, Flash to looking out the window to someone plastic. Flash to eating cereal. Flash to looking at a cigarette machine, and opening it up, and taking 6 packs (a few blue, a few yellow, and few red) then running with a companion who said she’d never seen a vending machine opened before. As we run, I hear the police radio conversation talking about all suspects on foot, describing them. I turn around and see about 20 people all scattering. Some running into houses, others jumping into the bushes, other changing their clothes so they don’t look the same, I was wearing my FedEx jacket and I run, I take it off and officer asks what I’m doing and I keep running and he grabs me by the jacket, so I take that off on the fly and slide under a fence. Looking up see some familiar faces, and they mumble to themselves that they had nothing do with this, and they were just in projects with friends……wake up……. I’m still getting bits and pieces of my first dream that had much more to do with a woman and love. I can’t get my mind to backtrack to the plot, but it was really good. It wasn’t like a series of many short films. In color with sound. I defied gravity a few times. I defied law. I survived an atomic blast. Killed serpents. Very good nap I must say. I really wish I could get my mind around it all and remember the entire sequence of events. I think my favorites were the first one (that I can’t remember, but liked) Grrrr…. I want to remember…. Now its time to go work on my Yoga papers.

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Nikolas Schiller is a second-class American citizen living in America's last colony, Washington, DC. This blog is my on-line repository of what I have created or found on-line since May of 2004. If you have any questions or comments, please contact:

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